To our surprise Matt Harris, as clever and witty as he is, does not tell jokes! Shocking right? Welp! We’ve got you covered on National Tell A Joke Day!
Now, we’re not Bernie Mac or Jerry Sienfield, but we’ve got some of the best Dad jokes that the internet has to offer. We do warn you that this post might have your husbands or dads telling you high quality cheesy jokes all day, but we promise you, it’ll be worth it!
Here are the 20 best dad jokes we found and again we warned you!
- “How do you follow Will Smith in the snow?” “You follow the fresh prints.”
- “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y.”
- “How does the moon cut his hair?” “Eclipse it.”
- “I don’t trust those trees. They seem kind of shady.”
- “How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.”
- “Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.”
- “Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”
- “How do you get a country girl’s attention?” “A tractor.”
- “How does a taco say grace?” “Lettuce pray.”
- “Why didn’t the skeleton climb the mountain?” “It didn’t have the guts.”
- “What concert costs just 45 cents? 50 Cent featuring Nickelback!”
- “What do you call a pudgy psychic? A four-chin teller.”
- “How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree? By the bark.”
- “When does a joke become a “dad joke?” When it becomes apparent.”
- “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
- “I ordered a chicken and an egg from Amazon. I’ll let you know…”
- “I once had a dream I was floating in an ocean of orange soda. It was more of a fanta sea.”
- “A cheeseburger walks into a bar. The bartender says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food here.'”
- What did the two pieces of bread say on their wedding day? It was loaf at first sight.
- “How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!”
-Eric Kelley II