10 questions to ask yourself to see if a non-monogamous relationship is or isn’t for you

  1. Do I want sexual exclusivity with my partner?
  2. Do I feel sexual, romantic, and emotional desires toward people other than my partner?
  3. Does it “just feel natural” to pursue friendships and romantic relationships concurrently with more than one person?
  4. Do I feel capable of managing my time and energy to meet the needs of more than one relationship? (You’re most likely already doing this with your platonic relationships (aka your friendships), so think of it through a non-monogamy lens.)
  5. Is it difficult to remain sexually exclusive with a partner for two years or more?
  6. Do I enjoy the security and stability of a monogamous relationship but also long for more excitement, romance, and passion?
  7. Have I practiced “serial monogamy,” where I’m exclusive with one person for a while, but I end each relationship to pursue someone new?
  8. Do I want more emotional intimacy than what my partner can provide?
  9. Do I feel or think there is a critical component missing from my relationship but overall am happy?
  10. Do I feel intrigued by the idea of multiple partners?


Are you cut out for a monogamous relationship? or are you the exploring type?